Who's the Sickie?

So, chemo this time, has taken a greater toll on Jill's body than either time before......quite understandably.....it builds up in her system & just gets harder for her body to take. She has been throwing up every morning & has developed a rash from one of the drugs that just doesn't go away (they can't stop the drug, so they just try to control the symptoms of the allergy). Sounds bad, but it's amazing to watch her bounce back from the tough stuff. She shovels handfuls of scrambled eggs into her mouth every morning (don't ask me how it is that she actually LIKES hospital eggs...I swear, they don't come from real chickens), then looks at me like, "wait, this wasn't what I thought it was" and spits them all out, then says, "Dat's DOSE! Dat's Nasee! (That's gross, that's nasty)", repeating what I say to her every time she does that (but maybe she's referring to the eggs). She'll do this like, 3-4 times until she realizes that she doesn't like eggs anymore. At least not when they taste like metal (which is what most chemo patients say food tastes like while they're on it). Anyway, then she starts to whimper, "Mommy, hode my hand. My body hurts." She barfs, we clean up, then she's out running up & down the halls, dancing with the nurses, practicing balancing on one foot (using the "ballet bar" in the hallway...one of her favorite nurses, Janel, has shown her how to lift one leg up onto the bar & stretch....I'm doing most of the work, it seems, as she's too short to reach the bar), dressing up as various princesses, Dorothy, random crazy people (tap shoes, tutu, & bunny ears, strawberry-shaped sunglasses, Mardi Gras beads, and a magic wand), and pretending I'm "Ryan" & she's "Sharpay" (characters from Anna's new favorite movie, "High School Musical"). Last night, we pretended we were various ocean creatures in the hallway (until about 11 pm)....she was a nice fishie & I was a shark taking bites out of her tail, I was an octopus & she was a seahorse going up & down, and up & down..."Oh no! I dot tandled in you leds! (I got tangled in your legs)". The energy on this one is no match for the fatigue chemo (supposedly) brings on. So, she's fine. And time is flying. Sort of.....kind of depends. I fear the next few weeks are going to creep by as I am her sole playbuddy at least 5 full days a week. Once again, we are open to visitors (especially during the week), if you are pretty sure you're in good health. The next week, especially, as her WBC's have not dropped to zero yet. She'll be unhooked for at least a few hours a day...if I know a friend is visiting, we can try to time the freedom with the friend. Give me a call either on my cell or the hospital phone (we still have our own room 562-933-8327).

Anna is doing much better.....she & I had a break through the other night.....she wanted to pretend that I was a 4 year-old friend who had a sister in the hospital with cancer & she & I talked/played for about 40 minutes with me in this role. It was a bit like "play therapy"....I asked her (in my best kidspeak) if she ever thought her mom was too busy to pay attention to her & she said, "Yeah." I asked her what she did when she felt like her mom wasn't listening to her, & she said, "I sometimes say mean things or do stuff she doesn't like." I didn't try to teach a moral lesson when she said this, but just tried (as her little friend) to identify with her....or I would just not talk about it at all & play like a 4 year-old with her. It was hard for her to let me transition back to Mommy (she was so into it, I told her I was cold & she took me down to her "mom's" room & showed me where she (I) keeps her (my) sweaters...."I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you borrowed one....oh look! It fits you perfectly!"). The next day, we spent so much quality time together....I stayed off the phone & followed her lead....didn't rush her.....let her be herself rather than some stressed out, rushed, other child of mine. She revelled in this role. It was nice, for both of us. And when she acted out....one time hitting me on the leg when I didn't respond immediately to a request, I completely ignored the behavior....I asked her what she wanted for dinner right after she did it, in a very nonchalant way, & she barked, "I don't want dinner from YOU! Uh!!!" and stormed off to her room, slamming the door. I went about my business, & when she realized she wasn't getting ANY attention for it, she came out & said, "Um, chicken nuggets would be great." I refrained from talking to her about her behavior & just really pretended like I didn't notice it. It worked. Not to say it will always work, or that I'll always be able to hold back from trying to "teach her a lesson", but maybe the lesson was learned without me getting on my preachy chair & letting her know who was boss. Amazing.

At the hospital last night, Jill & Anna raced up & down the hall on their respective vehicles (the playroom now has 2 tricycles...Jill can't quite figure them out, but Anna is in Speed Heaven). She had a tattoo on her arm from a packet she got a few nights ago, welcoming her into the "Super Sib" Club.....an organization started by a mom of a child with cancer to recognize the siblings of those who are sick & make them feel important. Anna proudly announced to all the nurses, "I'm a Super Sib!" and pointed out her tattoo. It wasn't long before Jill began telling the same nurses, "I'm a Super Sib, too!" Anna started hearing Jill say this and quickly rushed down the hall, pulled her trike right in front of Jill's car & stated, most emphatically, "No, Jillian. You're not a Super Sib. You're a Sick Sister." Although this is true, in theory, we're not convinced.

Happy New Year Everyone!