So, after much discussion, and some disagreement, Matt & I have come to the conclusion that having people stay with us (as much help as they have provided & are willing to provide) is more stressful than it is worth. This is certainly not to say that anyone who HAS stayed with us has been a burden or that we have not benefited from the help provided. The main issue is sickness. We are very concerned that, as Jill progresses through chemo, she is weaker & more susceptible to illness.....if people stay with us (in our little bitty condo), especially more than one person at a time, it increases the chances that someone in our house will get sick & pass it around. As Matt & I have no choice but to be at the hospital with Jill, we will then pass it on to her. The other issue is consistency for Anna. Although it is exciting for Anna to always have new people coming into town to play with, it throws her off. She has so many of our friends caring for her when we are not able to, but the routine remains fairly consistent. When visitors come in, we feel like we should let her take a day off school to go to Disneyland or the park, or the visitor will pick her up from school. When we have to go back to the "regular schedule", she is upset.
We are very much looking forward to the visitors we have lined up already (Susie, Linda, Annie, Missy, Renee & Rhiannon), and don't want any of you to feel like you shouldn't come or that you have to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting the balance while you're here. A few "rules" that many of you know about already are that 1)if you come in on an airplane, you can't come to the hospital for the first 3 days, 2)if you catch a cold or other virus (especially if you're coughing/ sneezing) you'll have to stay with one of our friends or, if you are not comfortable with that, in a hotel, and you certainly won't be able to go the hospital, 3)we probably won't be seeing much of you if you are sick, which really stinks, because you came to help & visit with us, 4)while at our house, we're sticklers on not wearing shoes in the house & on frequent hand-washing.....parents must keep a close eye on their kids for gross kid-like behaviors that may spread germs. Still wanna come? Ha ha.....
We are fully aware that people have only come to help & are only coming because we (I) expressed a need. I feel the need is there to help run the house (menial chores) so that we can spend quality time with Anna & maybe even relax a bit. We have loved seeing those that have visited so much....we've stayed up late talking with them (when we should really be catching up on sleep)....again, not the visitors' fault by any means! But it is so hard to turn off that "let's have a good time" button, and right now, we need to. We apologize for not knowing sooner how this was all going to work. You don't know how you'll feel until you are thrust into this.
For those who have expressed interest in coming out to help, please save your trip to when this is all over (maybe summer?) when we can enjoy each other more & you can feel like you really got your money's worth. We are slowly figuring out how to do this on our own. Thanks for understanding!
Friday, January 4, 2008
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1 comment:
I'm so thankful- and not surprised that Jillian can be a comfort to other children. She is truly a role model for me and my family.
And i'm sad, but not surprised at the scary dreams...this is terribly scary business.
Meanwhile, "Thanks be to God" for your beautiful family, and an
improving ANC.
We yuv you dys!
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