Saturday, April 5, 2008

Fever

Jill came down with a fever this morning. It has been up and down all day and she won't eat anything. I talked to Matt at 9pm and it was over 104. I freaked out because I've heard of kids losing the fight to chemo.....sometimes that wiping out of your immune system over and over is what gets you....not the cancer. This cannot happen now. She has been doing so great. I cried, I called my parents, I felt so desperate and anxious and guilty for not spending time with her today (Anna has a little cough so we're staying away from the hospital, and she and I had a lot of fun today going to the park for bike riding, the beach for treasure-collecting, out to lunch, out for ice cream, the bank, where she deposited my checks for me, step by step, the UPS store, the grocery store, Lakeshore, where I used her "modeling" gift certificates that were about to expire...she got a Magician's Kit, a Bug Vaccuum, a Bug Terrarium and a phonics game....then to dinner, then to IKEA....).........and I've been so lazy with Jill lately. Just trying to get through the days awake without tripping over her or myself. I still feel crappy with this pregnancy. Her fever came down to 101.4 around 9:15. Matt's really upset with the nursing staff we had today regarding her getting medicated properly for this. He feels her fever would have been much better controlled had the nurses been more on top of things. Whether it's miscommunication or forgetfulness brought on by being given too much to remember or them simply not thinking what we think is important is really important, we find ourselves (as maybe we should expect?) doing a lot of nursing our child to health on our own. I am certainly not speaking of all the nurses....there are a handful we completely trust with Jill's life. We just unfortunately don't always have access to them. So, Matt will be checking Jill's temp every half hour or so all night (he said her temp went from 100.4 to 104.2 in a matter of 20 minutes...the nurse wasn't due to check her for another 2 hours...if he hadn't caught it, what could've happened????). I feel like my worry will keep me up here at home right along with him.

Please keep Jill in the forefront of your thoughts from now until I report she's back to her normal self. Ready.....GO.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Michelle,

My prayers are with you and Jill. The girls and I will be at Mass at 7:30am tomorrow praying not only for Jill but for you too. (Yes at 7:30 am because at 9:00am the girls have been attending CCD classes for Holy Communion since October and I go with them as their one on one) (you know it is actually quite interesting listening to something I heard some30 years ago but now it means alot more as you can relate it to life). Your whole family can never get enough prayers. I don't know how your doing it, but somehow God just keeps giving you enough to get you through each day. Do whatever you need to do to make it each day, except for the Alcohol...:)..Wanted to make you laugh alittle. Congratulations on your pregnancy..way to go! Maybe a boy this time or 3 girls and then you can go for number 4...Another moment of humor to make you laugh. Take care, try and get some sleep. When things kind of settle for you we need to get together, I would love to see your girls and you would be amazed at how big Christina & Maria are at 7years old. Maria is a talkative one, like her father and Christina is the quieter of the two. Maria reminds me so much of Paul. She comes up with some good ones, like the other day she told me, "Mommy the laundry basket is full" I told her, What should I do Maria? She said "You need to go and do all the laundry". Then she tells me that her Piggy Bank is full (no where near it in my eyes). I told her what should we do. She said " We have to go the store and buy a Doll" (She only has millions of dolls). And on the same day, we were eating dinner and she said " Mommy my chili cheese fries goes in my mounth, down to my stomach, then it turns into poop and comes out of my butt and into the toilet". All these statements were in one day, I could write a book of quotes for Maria. I hope I put a smile on your face for at least a minute. Yes, we are back to church and I went through a period of time in which I could not go back without Paul, (you know, you have no one to blame that now you are going to face life alone and have to raise two special needs daughters alone, you want to and I did blame God, but I knew what I needed to do once I got through the blaming stage of grieving). Man there are alot of stages to that grieiving process but I can tell you that with God's power and the girls daily laughter, quotes, progress and few drinks of Alcohol (ok, now I am joking again to make you smile)..It is actually at the AA meetings that work best (gotcha again). I will sign off for now and hope the fever has broken..Take care and May God Bless all of you. Connie, Christina & Maria

Anonymous said...

Jillian is always in my thoughts and prayers, as are you, Matt, and Anna (and baby). We love you all very very much. Take care.